Beauty is only skin deep... said no one ever

Me bored... dont judge... this shit is important!

*** love how it captures me making awkward faces.

Letting go and moving on

So... I know it's been ages since I've written, but I've been TDY and working every freakin day. A few days after my TDY started, I got an IM from someone who meant a lot to me. I had been going back and forth knowing I should end our friendship because it wasn't a real friendship. I cared too much for it to be and I know he didn't feel the same. Well, he gave me reasons to say good bye. I felt like I never wanted to give up on him, and it hurt knowing it was truly over this time. I said my goodbyes and have been trying to move on since. I've been doing ok. I just try not to think about him anymore, which is sometimes difficult.

I know I couldn't in good faith remain friends after what he told me. It was like another heartbreak after previous heartbreaks. I don't know why we put up with it for so long... who knows? But I do know I miss him, but I need to want to take care of my heart more. To give a good effort in the dating world, or not if I choose... but he can no longer be in the back of my mind. He didn't want me and I respect that.

No one ever said heartbreak was easy, and fuck those who say it's just gonna take time... I know that, but right now its hard to think about the future me who will be over him completely and really able to move on. Right now, the current me is trying to put on a brave face everyday, continue to work and act like I'm not affected... keeping up a mask of a brave front is hard. I am at a point now where I just don't want to talk about it and prolong his memory with me.

I won't ever forget how he made me feel, good or bad... but I will move on and let him become a distant memory. My heart won't skip a beat when I see his face, I won't smile when I think of the shit he says that made me laugh, I won't remember the love I felt... He will just be there... and I will just be here.

Pink- Blow Me (one last kiss)