PART ONE
So, it is ~1830 here on the east coast as we wait to bring in the new year. I have no resolutions this year because like most people, I will not keep it. I REFUSE to be a resolutioner lol... but I realize why I can't keep resolutions- I am a commitment-phobe...
Before you scoff at me and tell me I sound like a lying man (yes, you men bashers, I mean you!), I realized I do have a problem. I won't even join a gym because I can't commit for a year. I'm surprised I still continue to go to school. I don't start workout plans because I know at some point I will become uncommitted. I don't join clubs or groups that require active involvement... My dating life sucks- well, I get bored there, but anyhoo I have a problem with commitment.
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PART TWO
Ok, so if anyone has an asian parent (mainly filipino) you've probably grown up doing random things during the holidays. It wasn't until I got older than I realized how superstitious my mother was. On NYE, my mother would make us clean the house from top to bottom, washing everything, even giving the cats a bath. The she would could pancit (for luck) and anything with beef and pork. We would also have 12 different kinds of fruit to represent the 12 months of the year and hope that they will be fruitful.
At the stroke of midnight, my mother would have us open all the doors and windows to let in the new air of the new year and blessings and blah.
So here's the break down- my mother won't cook chicken because it's a representative of how your year will be. One tends to have bigger cuts of meat with beef and pork and not in chicken wings. Also, I didn't mention, she'd have us put cotton in the corners... still confused on what that does. Also, you can't spend monday on 1 Jan, you can't do laundry, and you have to throw money (coins) outside and have a man come pick them up and bring them into the house... again not sure what this does.
So every new years since I've left home as been normal- meaning vodka was involved lol I'm also thinking my mother made up half of these things to deal with a daughter that had an overactive imagination... well played, Mom, well played...
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PART THREE
So let's recap on some highlights of 2012-
1- I got on a boat- I had a project that required this airman to become a seaman... hahahaa I said seaman. I'd never really been on the ocean like that. It was fun. I experienced something new.
2- I admitted I had a problem- I had issues readjusting after my deployment. I was very angry, but with my support system, I was able to control my anger and take it out at the gym as opposed to a certain coworker who gets on my last nerve. I still don't understand why I was soo angry, but I recognize the signs of me not giving too much of a damn and am able to walk away without hurting anyone with my words.
3- I went sky diving- holy crap!!!!!!! I have never had such an exhilarating experience in my entire life! holy moly!!! and I enjoyed it with my Prima!
4- I was blessed with my hyperactive puddin' pot pie Reggie James- My mom rescued a little tuxedo kitten who is now the love of my life. I can't wait to dress him up in ridiculous costumes.
5- The saddest thing- I let go of my best friend and someone I felt was my soulmate... I said goodbye to this man. I couldn't take being hurt anymore. Just because you're supposed to fall in love with your best friend doesn't mean they fall in love with you in the process... or they do fall in love with you but then fall out again. I will never forget him, but I know I can't go on in 2013 with him in my life. I wish him the best, but I can't stand by and continue to feel like a knife is being stabbed in my heart. I love you, JDS, but now I have to love myself more.
I won't sit here and say 2013 will be THE year, but I will say I'm graduating from college!!! I was supposed to this year but life happened. I will meet new people, kick my dad out of the air force, and travel back to Korea. I will learn more about myself as I enter this new chapter of my life. I'm starting the new year off with a move, hopefully it'll be a positive sign of new beginnings and new experiences. See you then, bitches!
