Ok... so I am 27 years old, and I have a crush... it's a tiny one, and one I'm not going to act on, but I've done some thinking... how old is too old to crush? Like is there a timeframe... a time limit on things like this?
SO here's the scoop... this guy isn't what most people would call handsome. He's quirky and shy. I don't even really know what attracts me to him, I just know I think he's too cute and his awkwardness is adorable.
Now, here's the thing... I won't ever talk to him. I mean I've said hey and such, but that's about it. I turn into a big dork... that's not me. I am a confident, HIRARIOUS, and sure of myself... but I turn into baby puddin' when I crush on someone.
My friends say I should speak... I can't... I mean I'm leaving in February, he may not like me- I know its 2012, but not everyone is down with the mixings if you get what I'm saying, and after gathering much intel, I believe this guy is legally separated... yea not going there. I've been burned with the divorcee before... I can't go down that road right now.
Soooo I won't sit here and complain or anything about why I'm single... I am ok, but I'm not doing anything about it... which again raises the question- Am I too damn old to have a crush?
Monday, October 22, 2012
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Shit just got real...
So my probably less than 10 followers (it's about quality not quantity right?), I know I super suck at writing on this thing. I am currently TDY to Florida for a week and also going to school online. The class is 8 weeks long so there's tons of reading on boring subjects that I would rather gain a pound a day... ok maybe its not THAT bad, but still you get my point.
Real Shit
Some of you may have noticed I changed my title to the blog. Life Actually was good for that moment in time, but now I feel at 27 I need to change it up a bit. Make it spicy... add some humor. It may also help that I am half-way through Mindy Kaling's book, LOVIN' IT!!!!!, and realizing that comedy really is laughing at someone else's tragedy. So you know what, I won't bother my homie Jesus and his pop's God with my trivial matters... you hear people praying to them or to Allah, or to Stephen Hawkins (scientology right? who cares... Tom Cruise has shown the seriousness I will take for that) but never bugging Buddha... no one ever bugs him right?
New Places, New Faces
So here's the deal, I just found out about my assignment after Korea... I'm going across the pond to jolly old England. Now before you become green with envy, I am going to NORTHERN ENGLAND.... Like it's bloody cold all year round. I am excited though, but sadly I know there won't be any hot princes up there... but 1 of 2 things could happen once I reach my chilly, but very Britishy locale... 1- I meet a hot Scotsman (Northern England... anything's possible) whom I marry while he wears a kilt and I a wedding pants suit. We have mocha colored babies with flaming red hair and freckles... orrrr 2- I meet Prince Harry, he falls in love with my blasianess, we get married and even Her Grace, Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge (I love love LOVE HER) is my maid of honor and we become BFFs. Harry or Harr Bear as I will call him have mocha colored, flaming red head babies with freckles... either way I get red pandas... that excites me!
Think about it- Blasian Cajun, the Duchess of something on the knoll... I can totally live this dream in my head. Our children will be named William and Philip of course... gingers of course... freckled of course, but bloody a quarter ninja and a quarter gangster to kick anyones ass who makes fun of them! and half white where it's just enough that they won't get audited.
But if I have my Scottie too Hottie...head of the Kilkenny Clan (again my fuckin dreams, get your own), our children Liam and Weiland will take after their father and learn to do manly things like ride a horse in a kilt and throw logs.
Fin
So to keep this uber (how do I use umlauts?) short, I will leave you with this, I'm tired of not feeling like myself. I am a humorous gal. I got caught up in my own head on feelings about JDS and now I've realized I have to really let it go, and guess what, I survived. I'm ok. I fell for my best friend, got burned, but I'm still here. I will always care for him; I put myself out there... I didn't hold back, but it was just me wanting something to spark between us. We had a fire that I had to let extinguish. So here's to realizing my worth, knowing what I want... and being ALIVE! Besides, my Scotsman will probably be just what I need... <3
Real Shit
Some of you may have noticed I changed my title to the blog. Life Actually was good for that moment in time, but now I feel at 27 I need to change it up a bit. Make it spicy... add some humor. It may also help that I am half-way through Mindy Kaling's book, LOVIN' IT!!!!!, and realizing that comedy really is laughing at someone else's tragedy. So you know what, I won't bother my homie Jesus and his pop's God with my trivial matters... you hear people praying to them or to Allah, or to Stephen Hawkins (scientology right? who cares... Tom Cruise has shown the seriousness I will take for that) but never bugging Buddha... no one ever bugs him right?
New Places, New Faces
So here's the deal, I just found out about my assignment after Korea... I'm going across the pond to jolly old England. Now before you become green with envy, I am going to NORTHERN ENGLAND.... Like it's bloody cold all year round. I am excited though, but sadly I know there won't be any hot princes up there... but 1 of 2 things could happen once I reach my chilly, but very Britishy locale... 1- I meet a hot Scotsman (Northern England... anything's possible) whom I marry while he wears a kilt and I a wedding pants suit. We have mocha colored babies with flaming red hair and freckles... orrrr 2- I meet Prince Harry, he falls in love with my blasianess, we get married and even Her Grace, Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge (I love love LOVE HER) is my maid of honor and we become BFFs. Harry or Harr Bear as I will call him have mocha colored, flaming red head babies with freckles... either way I get red pandas... that excites me!
Think about it- Blasian Cajun, the Duchess of something on the knoll... I can totally live this dream in my head. Our children will be named William and Philip of course... gingers of course... freckled of course, but bloody a quarter ninja and a quarter gangster to kick anyones ass who makes fun of them! and half white where it's just enough that they won't get audited.
But if I have my Scottie too Hottie...head of the Kilkenny Clan (again my fuckin dreams, get your own), our children Liam and Weiland will take after their father and learn to do manly things like ride a horse in a kilt and throw logs.
Fin
So to keep this uber (how do I use umlauts?) short, I will leave you with this, I'm tired of not feeling like myself. I am a humorous gal. I got caught up in my own head on feelings about JDS and now I've realized I have to really let it go, and guess what, I survived. I'm ok. I fell for my best friend, got burned, but I'm still here. I will always care for him; I put myself out there... I didn't hold back, but it was just me wanting something to spark between us. We had a fire that I had to let extinguish. So here's to realizing my worth, knowing what I want... and being ALIVE! Besides, my Scotsman will probably be just what I need... <3
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Free Fallin'
So today I did something I've always wanted to do, but was too afraid to do... until now... I went sky diving!!! The feeling of absolute freedom was exhilarating!!!! It is a feeling I cannot describe. I did it to celebrate my 27th birthday, but at the same time, I did it to give my self a sense of freedom.
My bday was Sunday and of course family and friends called to wish me well... but a part of me hoped that thru it all I would hear from the one person who still owns my heart- JDS. Of course he forgot when my bday was... or what I really feel is he didn't care to tell me. It hurt because I still do care for him. It's hard, but I take it day by day. Doing this jump made me realize that I am capable of facing fears and doing great things because in life we have to take risks.
Even though I didn't hear from him, I won't let it ruin my vacation home. It just wasn't ever meant to be between he and I... and I can't give him the friendship he says he wants because I feel how I do. I fell for him, but now I need to fall out. I just jumped out of a freakin plane... how crazy is that?
My bday was Sunday and of course family and friends called to wish me well... but a part of me hoped that thru it all I would hear from the one person who still owns my heart- JDS. Of course he forgot when my bday was... or what I really feel is he didn't care to tell me. It hurt because I still do care for him. It's hard, but I take it day by day. Doing this jump made me realize that I am capable of facing fears and doing great things because in life we have to take risks.
Even though I didn't hear from him, I won't let it ruin my vacation home. It just wasn't ever meant to be between he and I... and I can't give him the friendship he says he wants because I feel how I do. I fell for him, but now I need to fall out. I just jumped out of a freakin plane... how crazy is that?
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